What is your Alter-Ego
Personality?

Whoopee do... amazingly this is probably my first time putting in an entry on a happy note. Yes. I am smiling. This is probably one of my happy days since.. Well.. since 2 months ago i guess. The feeling of fearing loneliness has melted away from my heart, but yes I am still a poetic person because that is one of the only ways I can express myself. I express myself through songs and poetry and of course through my online journal. I guess the cause of my happiness was the same thing that caused my misery.

Friendship

It's amazing how people can make you smile even if they're not trying or have any clue you were upset. For me, after having a whole day of pain and sadness and grief. I got cheery the next morning from comfort of friends. I couldn't post what I felt yesterday, maybe cause my mind was too cloudy. It's really amazing on a hug can just brighten up your life. Though I detest it, I only want hugs from people who make me feel special and I hope I make them feel the same when they're around me. You should always try to be happy then try to keep gloomy. I know some people keep being gloomy cause they want attention and want people to ask them stuff or something, I do sometimes, but like you'll never learn to smile unless you let someone make you smile. I didn't think what I felt inside would go away for a long time, cause usually when I'm upset it would just last for a night but not a whole day, but then friends come and just talk to you. Some people like to be left alone when they're upset but I guess I'm one of those people who needs someone every time I feel down.

I'm grateful that god lets me go through life slowly so that I can just realize the beauty that surrounds me and the beauty I have within me and the beauty my friends show that's within them. It's like.. there's more out there and that's why you gotta work hard now so you can just go and grab forever that seems like an empty space.. but the truth is.. you should let forever grab hold on you. Maybe we do have forever already it's just that what we do.. we keep forgetting how forever taste like. You should live life fully but have fun at the same time. We can't always have fun 24/7 you know, cause then you won't actually have much of a meaning with life. Just like what my bestest friend taught me..

God chose you to be born when he could've made someone else, but he chose you.

Well it went something like that. I never thought of it like that actually till she said it. It was really meaningful and those words really inspired me after thinking about it for a while. It's true, god could've made someone else but he chose make me. I believe everything on this earth has a meaning and there is no such thing as coincidence, everything we do is our decision but God helps us chose the right decision and it is us that decides to do wrong. We have a brain, meaning we have thought. So we should know the difference with good and bad, but then for those who do bad or are such bitches.. usually they have a reason to be one but they just don't know it. If there's someone you know that's a total bitch, you should try and find out about their past or if they hate something so much like they're parents or grandparents or something. I believe no one is a bitch by birth, but only by life.

Sometimes people really, really hate their life. I was one of those people till I realized how lucky I am to have friends like my bestest friend who inspired me to be a poet, to sing, to be everything that I am now other than a sad person. That was my decision and it was not her that made me all sad and everything but it was her that made me smile and gave light back in my heart when the fire had burnt out. I think when you just seem to hate life. Just stop for a moment and wonder.. why is the blue? How can a rose smell so sweet? Why do I have friends loving me?

If you can answer all of that, then you must've experience life so well, but for those who can't then you have to realize, you don't know what you have until you lose it and losing someone that cared for you is the worst thing in life and I know that as a fact, that's why I try and keep hold onto what I have now. Though in my darkest times I wished I never knew how it felt to love and to have that love return. Cause through love their is pain, but there wouldn't be much of a life if there is no pain, but I'm glad to have more happy days than sad days in life, and I don't think I could've achieve that without my friends who are always there for me =c).