Dear Reader,

Stupidly I have not gone to sleep yet. It's 3:46am in the morning and I cannot rest till I can ease this curing pain in my heart. It feels like there are two forces within me, pushing and pulling me, but the question is to where? How is it when I try to be strong my heart can just ache for someone else? Why is it hurting for someone else? Why does it even care? I feel unbalanced, nearly drowsy yet I still feel alive... It must be the adrenaline. I can't calm myself down, I can't calm my thoughts. My heart seems to sway in all directions. What did he meant by, "When you see the light, just go to it." Him. Another one. He does not know me and yet he can read me. Am I in the darkness or am I in the beauty? Or am I merely on the border of both? Not even fire can calm my soul. Why is it aching this way? I shiver and tremble because I feel so weak now. I show my weakness here and I'm so afraid to show it outside. Why am I so afraid of being weak? Why can't I been weak for once? It's the only thing left to do... but it seems so, so pathetic. I can't stand myself. I don't know if I want to stay this way... to have emotions... but I feel so alive... but it hurts... does it always hurt this way? I can't understand, why me? Why now? I got nothing to do with them, but why does my heart ache for them? I know it's not my place... and I can't heal their pain... Oh God, How much I want to heal their pain... but I am nothing to them. Well, it might seem like I am something... but I will be nothing to them in the end. Nothing but a memory, or even worse... a false creation of the mind... When they sleep, will they think of me? When they cry will they remember me? When they love will they forget me?

Yours Truly,
Nayt

In my nothing you were my everything and now I know, you're never gonna care