Dear Reader,

I think I'll be a part time movie critic. Are there such things? Hah. Doesn't matter. I'll critisize anyway. I've been watching every new movie that comes out on Saturday now. Around 12... Beats the crowded places at least. People find it either sad or weird when you go to the movies alone. I guess it is and I don't really care but it's something to think about though. Why is it weird? Someone told me it's not weird... How many people do you know would do it? Even if you pay them?

None.

Some people are actually afraid to be alone. To just sit in their own room in silence or either just falling asleep. Some of them, don't trust themselves to be alone. Who knows what they might do... wait... what did you plan to do? suicide? Yea, go on. Do it. Do it. Feel the the point of the blade going through you. Skin, skin, flesh, flesh, bone, deep. You're too weak to go on with 'life' anyway. I still find it idiotic why people cut themselves. They say, "No I didn't want to kill myself," Fine then. If you weren't then at least use the knife to make art. Write your name with it, draw a silver thorn on a bloody rose, let it turn to scabs and then let it turn white... White... White is suppose to be pure right? White, the colour of hope and angels and all. Makes you wonder... is there turly good in evil? Is there turly a light behind shadows that surrounds you?

I think I'm getting addicted to bad vibes. Someone told me about those. Every single thought, every single look... They're just all bad and you start believing in them. Everything that didn't make sense... you just turned it into something else that would. No wonder some people are scared to be alone... You look at them... You know they're sad... with faces that're bout to cry, but you just walk on. Just keep walking on as if you didn't care. Well you don't. Do you? Stop pretending. You brushed off that look. That look of sadness... That look that you'll never see again 'cause it might be too late. Fall... fall... fall... are they there yet? No? Why? 'Cause they're waiting for you... waiting for you to come so they can punish you... because it's too late. You didn't acknowledge that look. You didn't come to help them... It's too late now. You're already dead.

I wonder if she sees it... I wonder if she sees how she's hurting herself. She won't cry, no... I've only seen her cry once. She doesn't have the tears and the look that'll break down the walls around your heart. No. She's different though, like a new toy... A new... subject that you can test. You wonder and question yourself. Do you dare to reveal... to take off what is behind that aromour she wears around her heart? She tries to avoid it... She tries to avoid being seen when she shows herself to the world. She wants to be seen of what she is on the outside. Oh look... She's falling too... Fall... fall... fall... when is she going to stop falling though? She has wings... but they're burning... just like mine... Her wings are nearly gone though... I'm just falling in there... watching her, laughing at her. You thought you could handle this didn't you? You thought that everything was going to be better? You're wrong... so wrong... wrong... wrong... wrong... dead wrong. What's worst then to end you life from pain? Living with it and too afraid to take it away.

Yours Truly,
Nayt