Dear Reader,

You act humane to some people and you try to be above emotions around others. It's the fact that you have a history with them, or because of something they did... or just because of who they are... you just can't help but be human with them. These are the people that they are not attachments where you can simply choose to either get rid of or not... not like the others... they're different... because they taught you to change... they taught you how to be better, even if they don't realize it.

Some people even ask me what I see in them... how are they so "special" to me... how could I waste all that love on them... and the only thing I could tell them is, "I don't know, I just do." You just never sit around and think about this... I don't, they're just the only ones I'll just accept that they're there and I won't question. No one can be completely inhumane. It's just not true. We were raised up as humans, we were raised up with these emotions. It was only by decision that we choose not to be. We just never really see it that way because some people just think it was their fate. It will be because they choose it to be. The only way for us to understand what being humane is, is by knowing what's not. All the hatred, all the lies, deceit, self centered-ness... it's only because of the drive to win. We all want to win life. We all want to be able to go around with our head up high and not walk around in shame, but then maybe you don't have to... Everything has two ways to it. Depending on how you would see it, maybe you've lost... or maybe you've won... who knows...

Sometimes I wonder... what really is the point for me to have this site on. Is this site really powered by my anger and hatred... or just my thoughts... which seem to be full of anger and hatred, still... I'm not the same as I seem to be here when I'm with people. When I'm alone, I'm different, the only thing that could accompany me are my thoughts and I'm use to being alone. I'm use to going out in Gadong by myself and watch movies by myself... Alone, I'm me... yet, I don't know who "me" really is. This girl with so many questions bout life or a girl who just lives in her own world of friends. They're both of me... but which one balances the other one out? or maybe they're both equally balanced... and the other thing is... who knows "both of me" really well?

Life is just searching for who you are... searching for the one who would save you... searching for those people who'll help to ease the pain a little... or even replace bad memories with good ones... To dream is a journey... but to wake up in a dream... is something to cherish even if it was just for a second...

Yours Truly,
Nayt

I'm not perfect... but you still love me as who I am... and I "lurbe" and "w.u.v.e" you for that...<3