Dear Reader,
Sometimes I can feel my heart closing, even in situations where they need my support the most. I know I use to say that I don't want to feel human at all and I always end up changing my mind or being confuse with it... but I guess there are times when you need to be and when you don't. It's just that you don't know when these times are and whether it's happening now, or now or even now.
And Reader, I'm not suicidal. I do rarely though think about what life would be if I was dead or in a coma, same difference there right? but I never have actually thought about taking my own life. No, that's not me, but mostly... I see myself in accidents. There are times when I see myself flying out from the car window, test tubes filled with acid breaking and flying into my eyes making me blind or even simply falling down the stairs or leaning too much over the balcony. I'm guessing it's because of my overly dramatic side that I try to exaggerate little things in my head or maybe... I am suicidal. Who knows, yet who are we to judge who is and who isn't?
Thinking too much really can do badly to your brain... especially if they were negative thoughts... or maybe they're just thoughts... Thoughts that don't seem to matter... Like the time where you're sitting with your friends and everyone seems to be talking with you who seems to butting the conversation every 10 seconds... It feels like you're watching a movie... because everyone seems so fitted in, so perfect... once again... a picture in your mind... and if you did disappear from that picture, it wouldn't really matter anyway... it's still there, it exists... except for you...
Wouldn't it be nice to really, really know that you're appreciated? To really, really know other then them assuming that you do know... or if they do show that they really, really appreciated you... it wouldn't be because of something you just did for them... or just said... it would just be because... they were thinking about you... and just wanted you to know... that they do... really, really appreciated you... sigh... but sometimes when it's you who tires to show them appreciation... you end up feeling foolish anyway...
but why?
Yours Truly,
Nayt
Sometimes I can feel my heart closing, even in situations where they need my support the most. I know I use to say that I don't want to feel human at all and I always end up changing my mind or being confuse with it... but I guess there are times when you need to be and when you don't. It's just that you don't know when these times are and whether it's happening now, or now or even now.
And Reader, I'm not suicidal. I do rarely though think about what life would be if I was dead or in a coma, same difference there right? but I never have actually thought about taking my own life. No, that's not me, but mostly... I see myself in accidents. There are times when I see myself flying out from the car window, test tubes filled with acid breaking and flying into my eyes making me blind or even simply falling down the stairs or leaning too much over the balcony. I'm guessing it's because of my overly dramatic side that I try to exaggerate little things in my head or maybe... I am suicidal. Who knows, yet who are we to judge who is and who isn't?
Thinking too much really can do badly to your brain... especially if they were negative thoughts... or maybe they're just thoughts... Thoughts that don't seem to matter... Like the time where you're sitting with your friends and everyone seems to be talking with you who seems to butting the conversation every 10 seconds... It feels like you're watching a movie... because everyone seems so fitted in, so perfect... once again... a picture in your mind... and if you did disappear from that picture, it wouldn't really matter anyway... it's still there, it exists... except for you...
Wouldn't it be nice to really, really know that you're appreciated? To really, really know other then them assuming that you do know... or if they do show that they really, really appreciated you... it wouldn't be because of something you just did for them... or just said... it would just be because... they were thinking about you... and just wanted you to know... that they do... really, really appreciated you... sigh... but sometimes when it's you who tires to show them appreciation... you end up feeling foolish anyway...
but why?
Yours Truly,
Nayt
posted by Nayt at 10:20 PM 0 commentss
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