Dear Reader,
As strange as this sounds, as usual as it should sound, I am beginning to believe I am only happy with those that I don't love deeply. Perhaps it's the minds natural reaction to the thought that I will not be hurt; disappointed; betrayed by them. What do I expect from everyone? I'm not sure, nor have I really given thought to it. Have I separated mind from emotion by far? Or have they found a new way to entwined with the other? Maybe the fear is really what I think others expect of me, or what I expect from myself...
If I look back, I'm not quite sure what I'm suppose to see. I can't say I was like this or like that, because memories will never be exact. I won't remember why I felt bittersweet at one moment and empty the next. Even if I had reasons to those emotions, I know there will be something of some important essence that I will be missing that's suppose to make the puzzle stick. I cannot say if I am better today, I cannot say whether I've changed - evolved? Perhaps I have and into what is only for those who see, observe and listen to decide. Only the One Creator does such and I wonder if he smiles or frown at my fate. I hope the end will be good. I wonder if I will be alive to see the end. It sounded like a beautiful faery tale, a fearful one as well might I add, but it would've been... Interesting or perhaps exciting to see how it will all happen. I'm afraid I might regret saying that in the future.
Can't turn my head around, because you're not the one I want. Yet I'm with you only because I know that I won't fall in love with you. Maybe we'll dance the nights away and count the stars, till it'll all spill into the light of day. Can't turn my head around, because you're not the one I dreamt about. Maybe through the Summer, the heat will turn cold, and maybe that's the feeling your eyes should show, when you think of me.
Yours Truly,
Nayt.
posted by Nayt at 12:30 AM 0 commentss
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