Dear Reader,

Reflecting last year, I dare say that I've learned a lot emotionally and have grown to understand how some things are better left the way it is, even if it doesn't feel like it. What I went through, I'm not sure what it is anymore. I still feel it and yes, it is some sort of pain... well it is pain. I feel like I'm breathing it out at times, and for a few second it's gone but it's when I'm breathing in, it comes back. I can even feel my heart beating its way out of my back. I don't need to keep on smiling, but I let people know that I'm alright. Well, when they themselves need to know that I'm alright. Have I grown up just a little? Possibly. Hopefully.

I remember understanding how a situation should be handled in a certain way, for example, in this case some things are better left unsaid, or the closure is those unspoken words. I thought, "Yeah. That's how I should do it." However that was usually never the case, because emotionally I couldn't handle it. I mean, I didn't want to be the only one who knew what I was going through.. Does that make sense? I'm sorry if it doesn't - but anyway - Now, I think... I'm not sure what it is, but I guess I have a better understanding of why, things are done, finished, even if it's not for you. You could always hold on... and I guess, that's just something else that you haven't understood that would've helped you to let go, move on, and just not care forevermore. So will I be able to let go of this? Now, I hope so - but if I don't then, I wish and I pray... Let me feel this love for the rest of my life, but let that love be less each day, so that when I die after I sleep - Let me not dream of this face that still haunts me. Remind me not of the traces and the stains that used to be. Just let me rest in piece. Even if it's in pieces.

Deliver me not of this love... Just ease this. Just ease this.

Yours Truly,
Me.