Dear Reader,

Now days I wonder what would I regret before leaving. The main thing that comes up though are leaving things unsaid and at the same time, never understanding what had happened. Do things only matter when they mean something to you? I guess that's a stupid question to ask, but what if it means something to someone else? Right now I just won't know. It could only matter less each day.

I can't really say what I want because I don't exactly know what I want other than what I yearn for is in the form of someone. It is strange to love someone and to do nothing about it. It is strange to love more and to lose it the same second. It is strange to know fear through love. It petrifies me to think something horrible might have happened to you. I get so scared and I can't tell anyone because to them - It's just me thinking like this.

I used to think that maybe I like people too much too easily. I wish that was true but it's not. I mean, I am happy, but I find no peace in me. I am lying to myself again - because the truth hurts you know?

I don't know what it is exactly that keeps my mouth shut as to what I feel now - maybe it's hopelessness? hurt? Love in some sort of distorted form? - but I find it the hardest now to try and explain it to you.

I guess this wasn't enough.

Yours Truly,
Me.