Have you ever walked alone and just realized, some how.. You don't belong to anything. You know a lot of people, who are all your friends, but when you pass them, all they do is wave or just say hi. You feel like walking next to them, but then this word whispers in your head.

Unwanted

So you turn away, and just let them hang out with their friends and you're just wondering, is there a place for you? You just keep on walking and then inside you feels hot. Like you have a fever but it's not that. It's pain. You wanna cry so much but you feel so much pain that you couldn't. All you wanted was a friend. Just one friend that you can just laugh with and talk to freely, but most of them hang out in groups, but for you.. You just want it to be you and a friend, cause that way it seems that they’re paying attention to you. Listening to ever word, but when others are there, you just shut up cause no one actually listens. You don't care if what you say doesn't make sense or if they're actually not listening. It's just as long someone was there and you know that your words were aimed for one person to listen to then everybody else. That's when sometimes I think what somebody said to me was true..

"Since when do people listen to you?"

Wow. It seems like people don't actually listen to you. You just keep repeating what you said but still, they don't pay attention and that’s when you just decided.. Forget it.. They’ll never listen. You just decided to give an excuse to go away or just walk away from them with a simple 'bye,' but when you none of them decide to walk you there or ask you where you're going, cause they just wanna sit down and talk in their big group of friends and it's like.. She’s out of the conversation, so no difference and in their head.. They’re not bothered to see you in a different way. Maybe you're hurting but no body ask you if you're okay. It doesn't matter if they don't actually care, but if they seemed too. They can tell if you're upset or something, but they just think you wanna be let alone. They never notice you are always.. always alone. You walk around with a smile, talking to people but it seems they can't see through you. You see the person who somehow always makes you smile, that's when you have a little hope in you. You talk to them, hoping that they could see through you. See the pain in your smile, but once again it seems they can't see through you. Maybe they did, but just like everyone else, they're thinking.. She wants to be alone.. But you try so hard to tell them.. I need a friend with me right now.. I need you.. But as usual the same word once again repeats in your head.

Unwanted

You hope you'd bump into someone, who could see how lonely you feel inside. How much you need someone just to ask a simple question.. 'Are you okay?' But no, everyone just talks about you saying you seem down, but they're not bothered to ask or they just think you don't wanna bout it. Of course you don't wanna talk about it, but still... you just wanna know if they care.. Still all alone you just can't sit down for a second cause you're too scared that you might break down and cry. You pray everyday, praying to find some belonging somewhere or to have something or someone that makes you wanna wake up for tomorrow so you could just see it or them again. You've prayed so many times but then you run out of prayers and you don't know what to do.. What to do in life.. What’s there worth to do.. To see.. To have? but you have talents, but you don't want them, cause you know.. It’d never did anything for you. If only you could trade the useless thing for a friend who understands you. Then when you arrive home the only thing you wanna do is just go to sleep. You want the day to end quickly so that you could just get on with your life until it was your time to go.. Or maybe.. You’re just hoping to die peacefully.. In your sleep. With no pain, but then you wake up.. Everything is still the same. Nothing seemed to change. You sit next to the phone, hoping someone you really enjoy talking too, or maybe an old friend would call you, for a chat or something, but the way it seems when you're sitting next to the phone, it might as well be dead.

But maybe.. Some of you do have a friend who does understand you. Who knows what you want, who could read you inside out.. and usually it's the member of the opposite sex that really understands you, but when you walk around.. with something worst than a broken heart.. You’re walking around with a broken soul.. They’re never there, but when they are, they just pass you like you were never there and maybe walk through you if they could. You wanna sit down. Talk to them. Ask how things are, but the only way you can talk to them and tell them everything is when you're either sending each other emails or just chatting. They seemed so wrapped up in their life, like they don't actually have much time for anything or anyone. They tell you, they care if you're upset or something, but every time you are.. and I've said this before.. They’re never there or they just walk pass you thinking you're alright. Then you decided to just walk up to them. Tell them, but then when they walk pass by, not even a 'hi' or a smile.. The same word repeats in your head..

Unwanted

Yours Truly,
The Unwanted Nayt

Sometimes I wonder if you could tell the pain in my eyes as I smile and walk pass by,
If you could tell that I'm not feeling alright,
If you could tell I need a friend to be there,
If you could tell I need you, my friend to be there...

Why are we stuck with all of those people who seem to have the same thing coming out of their mouth is the same thing that comes out from their ass? What the fuck is their problem? I'm sorry that the only way for them to feel better about themselves is to put others down, but that's just showing.. How much more full of crap they are. Some people are just such bitches that you even wonder if they're even human at all. They're mouth works faster than they're brain which of course has to be completely dead since the mouth always win. Geez, why do they even have friends? I mean like.. they follow what other people say. If others think of her as a bitch, the so-called 'best friend' will just say she’s a bitch. They don't have to think of her as a bitch. They just say it. It wouldn't matter to them. Why? Cause the best friend isn't there. What the hell are they trying to do? They feel the world is nothing. It's their toy and so are people's feelings. Like when you first met them, wow they don't seem so bad at all. Till you found out the freaking witch got permanent PMS. No, wait. It isn’t PMS, it's just them. Unfortunately one of these backstabbing bitches said to me: -

"Since when do people listen to you?"

Oh wow, too bad i didn't give a come back, since after all. It's not nice to hurt a poor little defenseless animal's feeling.. I stopped myself from saying it.. but I didn't stop myself from thinking it..

Since you started talking BULL

Bitch. Couldn't pick on anyone else. Not that I've done anything wrong with her. It isn't my fault that her life is so screwed up. Don't you sometimes wish that they would hit you in the face first so that you could just punch them back and rearrange they're face to make it look better than the original one. You just so much want to hurt them. It'll feel like you're doing they're family a favour. It's such a wonder why they act that way. Or even better.. other than hitting them. Just get them to feel so guilty, that every time they see you.. The only thing in their mind is to look down, run and hide. Plus they know people hate them, but they always go.. Why do they hate me? What did I do wrong?

EVERYTHING YOU MOTHER FUCKING ASS BITCH

Don't you even wonder how they act at home? Probably still sucking a bottle. Do they have a really big problem with certain people? Or they just hate them, cause they hate them. You just try so hard to like them till they start opening they're mouth and keep on yapping about something. Then you just go to sleep at night. Thinking how much you hate them.. How much you just wanted to chop their head off, but then it wouldn't be much fun cause you won't be able to hear them scream and cry out. You just wish so much you could burn them, pushed them or even take a needle and poke them, just to watch them bleed, but then.. Have you ever been in a situation, where you're crying your tears out and they like called you, saying they found out and you think they care? And like.. You then changed your mind about them being a bitch.. They’re just a real friend.. Well think about it this way.. Who said that she cares? The other person who made you cry was probably the person she cared about and not you! She was just trying to find out, so that she could comfort the other person instead of you. Probably just wanting to be close to them to get to someone else.

Have you got a bitch to bitch about cause she or he deserves it so much. You even wonder why people seem to like them.. Well I have some things to say to my sad, pathetic, ass-fucking whore, who couldn’t figure out why she was given a life and why god still loves her even though she hurt the other human beings that god created so that she would have friends, so that she wouldn’t feel lonely and so that she would feel wanted but she had to push them away, stab them in the back and if she could, just watch them die.

I hope one day, she'll hurt someone that actually wanted to be her friend or really liked her and just change their mind about them and I hope that one day they'll feel every single pain that she caused to people who wanted to be her friend but couldn't be one, since they'll have to get their feelings hurt.

Yours Truly,
Nayt

If only you could read my mind,
If only you could feel what I feel,
If only you could see what they don't see,
If only you could understand me.

Another pitiful day comes and you struggle just to get through it.. Dodging insults that the biggest bitches says about you and keeping cool about a rumour that came from the hole that god gave to the 'damn blabbering girl who struggles to be in..' the damn thing that was given to her called a mouth. They all think that just because of what I seem to be, just because I avoid eye contact.. I'm the one who does not have a life. People really do judge each other by first impressions; usually it's always wrong cause who knows.. maybe they got P.M.S.. Or they just know you already and just damn hate you. Then there's the populars.. God damnit.. Why the hell do people call them the popular people? Just because they act like some bunch of stupid clowns who aren't shy and all that shit.. It DOES NOT mean that they are popular! Popular people are the type of people that the lower life forms tries to be friends with, but with people like the populars.. They mean well.. but they don't work to be your friend. It's always you who has too.

It's not that they have a problem or anything. They just probably don't know what to say or some shit like that, but then.. Lets talk about the people, that other people so called "losers." Usually they ain't assholes or jerks like some people. They're either people who are just really different or i don't know.. Different. They try their best, to make friends with people, but others just look at them as this retarted people. Everyday people tease them, insult them and even make lies about them. Sometimes these so called "losers" even lie just to try and be cool, which is such a pity cause it's like they're being force to, just to make friends, but some of them.. They just keep on trying without lying. If you really think about it.. These people got it harder than others in their high school stage. Some of the "Populars" are probably complaining what hell there life is, when a lot of people just wish to be them. To live in their skin for just a day and know what it feels like to be notice. If only faerie tales were true.. Where the geeky people are sucessful and the bloody pain in the ass are just living like hell.

Like.. Who can blame people for being different? Who can blame me for being different, but I don't try to be popular or whatever. I am already noticed. As the freak. Things then just appear in people's mind.. What type of girl is she? I'll let the world imagine who I am. Let their imagination run wild.. But one day.. I will have something that will prove them that they misjudge me.. or better yet.. prove them right. Confusing isn't it? But one day.. I will. They’ll regret for hating me in the first place.


Yours Truly,
Nayt

If I say one thing about what I feel,
I'll be risking of telling you everything that I feel