Emotions... Maybe it's all in your head, then again maybe it's your heart? Every time when you try to be cold and be free of emotions, there's always something holding you back... an attachment, a love one. They show you that they need you, they need your love... and living in a world of obligations... you give them your love. Everything you do for a person, all that affection you give them... is it really sincere? or is it just an obligation? When really just don't wanna give a damn about that person, something makes you give a damn, 'cause you don't wanna appear to be the villain in the story just 'cause you don't care. No one out there really cares... they're just curious with what the heck is wrong with you... they don't care... they really don't.

I can feel the evil all around me, the hatred, the pain, the confusion... and really... this is the world I wanna live in, not in a land where I can smile 24/7 be happy and act like there's always a tomorrow... No that's a place where I try to avoid to reach... I need to keep my feet on the ground. I need to remember there's no use in pretending anymore... sigh, I really am confused. I hardly know what I'm talking about. I close my eyes, just thinking maybe this is a dream and I'll wake up, then everything will be alright. No one's gonna scream at me, no one's gonna give me the looks, no one is gonna pretend that they care... no one... then again... the world is full of lies. Someone is just bound to tell you that they care.

Sometimes I think I could live without those people who I cherish the most. Like friends. I wish I could stop all these thoughts in my head, but then I just can't help but wonder maybe I could live without them, or maybe I'd be stronger 'cause I don't have attachments. I won't have to care about anyone but myself and just have a barrier in my mind where nothing matters, everything doesn't matter... but I can't set them free, cause I'm clinging on to them. It's the hardest part of all, trying to unchain my heart to things that I care... I don't know, I wanna let go but I'm still holding on. I still remember some things of how I first met some people. I guess they left me an impression. I remembered when the greatest singer of all time, well in my opinion she is, walked up to me. I remember my reaction afterwards. If I saw myself I think I'd be laughing at me. Yes I was acting very silly, so silly it was embarrassing. Emotions... they just took control I guess.

Right now I just don't have the heart to say anything else...

Yours Truly,
Nayt

my heart tells me that I wanna be with you... but I'm too scared that I might not end up loving you like the way you want me too