Dear Reader, You,

If I could I would try so hard just to get our friendship to work. Best friends? What made us think that's what we were?! Or maybe... that was at least what I thought we were... You made it seem so easy... Just to forget what we pretended to be, what we both thought was real... again... At least I thought it was. I can't stand to look at you for more then a second just hoping that right now all you're doing is just pretending. Just pretending that we've never talked before, we've never been there for each other... Somehow maybe you're hurting that you?ve got to pretend? but for what? Why? Is it ?cause it seems that I am too? You're right I am? because you are too?

I would have foolishly fallen for you so long ago... and I'm glad that I didn't... and yet... I can still hear my heart breaking... Could you tell that I was falling for you? Is that why you're just pretending now? So you could protect me? but you know I would never admit to it? or to you? you know that? but why did you bother though, why did you let it drift apart? Maybe cause you don't care anymore? I know you don't want to try... though, I could've sworn that you were going to... I could've sworn you were going to help me mend our friendship? Our friendship? right? It never did existed did it? Both of our imaginations? Just playing with out minds? Both wanting something that was not there to touch or couldn't even be able to reach. I just wanted so much for us to be able to talk face to face. Not through a machine. I wanted to see you as you. Why couldn't you understand that? I just wanted to know you for you. You're different to everyone else? or maybe you were just different to me? You could never let me in? No, not ever.

I must've been just the test drive friend for you, wasn't I? Now look at you, so many friends, so many people who're my friends are now yours too... You never wanted to try did you... You never do... do you? I could've fallen for you...

Yours Truly,
Nayt

Dear Reader,

I smile, I laugh, I can be happy. So what? I am after all, still human. Everyone in this world is alone in their own way. Nobody pays attention to this 'cause everyone is still busy with trying to make their own loneliness go away, thinking that everyone goes through this as a phase. It's not true. There might be a moment when you're happy and it feels like for the first time you're whole, but that... That is just a phase. Soon someone else will enter your life and someway or somehow, you'll end up never being satisfied. Things are just like that aren't they? Everything that you do in life, whether you were performing, or you've accomplished something... Still, you always stop and think... Could I have done better? And the answer will always be yes. Of course you could, 'cause you're better. You're better then they are and they need to realize that or at least acknowledge it. And when I say "could I have done better"... Well, Love is not an exception, and I don't mean as in could I have found a finer person. No, but if you've fallen in love before... Have you ever thought, Could I have treated them any better? And you know you could... 'cause you were in love.

Did that even make sense?

Everyone is just alone... We're always searching for something and just reaching out into empty space... Just hoping, maybe someone will reach out to you... Maybe someone will find you... Maybe they'll love you as a person... but not as what you appear to be.

People have to find their own way to release their feelings... I guess my way of releasing emotions is by writing stories or writing my thoughts here. I guess it's my own way of clearing up my thoughts and by writing stories I focus all my anger onto something that might somehow... talk to people in a different way. I know people think, I think too deep but still my thoughts have their points in them. If you can't find a solution to your own thoughts, what chance is there for you to find a solution for the people who needs answers the most? What's the point at being at something, when you can't use it to help the one you love? For example, Ask a child what colour is fire, they might say it's red, orange and yellow or something along those lines, but they never say blue. The lighter the blue, the hotter the fire... strange isn't it? How a cool colour could be so hot. See how life is contradicting things? Everything has a different story to it. It's just like how people say; the opposite of Love is Hate. Why though? Why is the opposite of Love is Hate? When you love someone you think about them, when you hate someone, you think of what you could do to them. Notice what I'm trying to say? It's basically the same, it's all about them. It's all about what you could do to them, love them, cherish them or even destroy them. So, what if the opposite of Love is Selfishness? You love someone so much that you want to keep them to yourself. Isn't that already destroying the meaning of love? That you are in love with someone so much that you would be consumed by jealousy and probably swallowed by the fire of hatred? To love someone... yet who am I to talk about being in love?

Yet I can still say... I know what it feels like to be loved... but that's only the surface of it...

Yours Truly,
Nayt

P.S. I'd hate it if I have to look into your eyes and no longer see my reflection within you