Dear Reader,

My letters used to be powered by anger and sadness or confusion and hatred. Now things are different though. I want to learn to say less in order to avoid saying the wrong things. I need to start listening, don't I? Listen and learn...

I'm a child still. I wouldn't know how to solve the problems of one who is 3 years or 2 years older then me – Reason, only because I would lack the experience and the knowledge and of course - the wisdom to do so. So what is one to do? I would suggest one to condemn oneself to a role of silence in order to listen and to observe and then learn. And then apply the rules one has created on ones behaviour and learn; find what secrets... they try to hide.

Educate yourself in order to learn what you can get away with.

Yours Truly,
Nayt.

Dear Reader,

Have you seen the work of Lee Miller?

Her work, her images are... Extremely powerful. I find as if my senses have been provoked or invaded by these surrealist photographs. I've never seen things painted in that form before.

Yours Truly,
Me.

Dear Reader,

I need to find time for myself. I'm making mistakes. Little mistakes, but mistakes that might have great affect to another. I have not been listening. I've been talking too much and saying the wrong things along the way. Excited. Foolish. Little. Child; Girl. I am.

It seems to me I've been having the need for company. Being alone doesn't suit my taste now days. It's not because I feel lonely, now at least I think not, but it's just the noise that I need. That feeling of... Not caring what others felt. I've been around the children too much. I must've caught their habits, characteristic or maybe it is my own that before themselves laid dormant within me.

I make no sense nowadays. Read. Read again... and perhaps rewrite.

Yours Truly,
Nayt

Dear Reader,

I don't think I've learnt my lesson yet. I just seem to memorize everything that I'm suppose to learn through life. Pieces of me are beginning to heal and pieces of me are being smoothen out. I've been trying to understand, I've been trying to be truthful, I've been trying to find someone to turn to but now I'm scared that I can't let myself fall on them because they might just move away for that one moment.

I wish I was wise enough to understand or figure out why I feel this way. Why I cry at a thought. I wanted to be better. I wanted to be better.

Yours truly,
Me.

Dear Reader,

I guess when you experience emotions for someone, they never completely fade away - Unless the emotions evolve into something more profound - but is it possible that those emotions could be erased once you find a way to shift them onto another? Perhaps. But for now, I'll have to wait to find out.

I'm thinking about him right now. He thinks that pain doesn't last. I guess he must be right. Now, I don't feel the same pain as I did before but it saddens me when I think about it. You know, I don't know if you read my entries, but, I just want you to understand, that it doesn't matter if the pains' gone or lessen. I was hurt by you. That fact doesn't change. And I know, I should let it go. I really should because we were very much, clueless at that time. Well, Maybe not you but I was.

You know, everyone knows in a way what I feel for you. Some say it's hate. Some say it's love disguised as hate. I don't understand why I hold on... I mean, I don't think I am but the emotions come back. They keep on coming back and I... I still care for you. I do, I rather be your close friend. I really want us to be friends. And I'm sorry that I've hurt you before. I know I had, you said I did, and I don't think my explanation should be an excuse. I'm sorry.

I feel like an idiot right now... But like you've said, "enough with the social life chats".

You. I care for you. I'm not sure how much, but I do. You soar so high... I can hardly see you now.

Yours Truly,
Me.

P.S. My stupefaction wrote this.