Dear Reader,

I have struggled to express myself these past few months. I think I'm finally alright to write now.

Everything that has occurred was painted in its own shade of grey that I could not distinguished nor acknowledge the possibility of the by-product which being these emotions were made to drown themselves within me. People must stop voicing out what I must do. I ask you to not make me die in my wake over and over again by demanding me to forget or keep within distance between the only one who has ever made a difference in me. I am all that I have left of proof of what was felt to be real. I never knew that I possessed such weakness that I could cry easily because of a wanting. I feel like I had found a hidden part of me only to lose it like it was never there. What stabs me constantly is the thought that it wasn't because things "couldn't be," it's because of things "shouldn't be," and the fact that fighting for it is the wrong thing to do.

I feel like I am living someone else's life because I have lost the heart for everything that I used to love. I have lost any sort of care for anything and even if that concern comes, it is easily shattered. I am losing or I already have lost the good in me. I continuously break because it has hit me that I have no clue to who I am and that I have given up in trying to find a newer or different part of me. It is not that I am lost. I'm just gone. I'm weak and I'm gone. I don't know what to do to fix this because trying to recover is taking all of me.

Yours Truly,
Nayt.