Beer
I was just thinking abt one of my friends, and how i couldnt see her on sat night. But even less fortunate (or more, depending on how u see it), i started thinking abt beer. Mustve been those border runs that have associated thoughts of her with thoughts of beer, in my head.
And so, remembering reading this on the internet (this man certainly put alot of thought into it), i share it with u.. on behalf of that friend of mine. ;)
I dont know how accurate these are, or if they really work. And some of them are just plain weird. But feel free to try any of them out. I hold no responsibility on ur actions, or any consequences of those actions. hehe
32 THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH BEER
1. Bathe In It
Try pouring a bottle of German Badebier in the bathtub and soak in it. The yeast soothes the skin and leaves it feeling smooth and luxurious. Of course, u'll end up smelling like fresh bread.
2. Put Out A Fire
Beer is mostly water and works almost as well as fire extinguishers on small grill flare-ups or car engine fires. Just shake and spritz.
3. Marinate Meat
Beer is acidic and so, is an excellent meat tenderizer. Just poke a few holes in the meat and leave them to sit in the fridge in some beer for a few hours, or even better, overnight. Do not drink the marinade.
[I've found that 7up works just as well. Just be forewarned that the meat may be a little sweeter than u expect]
4. Polish Pots
The acidity does wonders on copper.
5. Make Beer Barbecue Sauce
Can be used to baste anything u fancy. Please leave a msg for the recipe.
6. Shampoo Hair
Great for adding shine and lustre to dull hair. Bring a cup of it to boil over medium heat. Let it reduce till only 1/4 cup is left. That way, it removes the alcohol, which is drying to hair. Let cool and add to a cup of ur favourite shampoo. Then lather up and rinse.
[This i've got to try]
7. Loosen Rusty Bolts
Pour some beer on them and leave for a few minutes. The carbonation may help to break up the rust.
8. Clear Up Brown Spots On Your Lawn
Apparently the fermented sugar in beer stimulates plant growth and kill fungi. Just spray on those brown patches in the garden.
9. Steam Clams Or Mussels
Bring equal parts water and beer to a boil before steaming the little mollusks till their shells open.
[Sounds good.. and i know just the darlings who will try this out with me]
10. Pass A Kidney Stone
Beer acts as a diuretic and flushes the kidneys and bladder. Helps if ure trying to pass a kidney stone. Water and cranberry juice are good, but beer works too. Takes the edge off of the pain as well, obviously, as ure trying to pass a kidney stone. =/ But don't drink beer if you're taking antibiotics or narcotic pain medications. You'll just render the drugs useless and make yourself sick.
11. Boil Shrimp
Seasoning added and it works for lobster as well.
[This i would try as well]
12. Kill Slugs
Gather together a couple of empty jars, and fill them 1/3 with cheap beer. Then bury them abt 15 feet from ur garden or whatever ure trying to protect. Make sure the rims are almost level with the soil surface. For some reason, slugs love beer. They'll find the traps, drop in, and drown. Do this in the evening, let them party all night, and give them an honourable burial in the morning.
13. Find Due North
Okay, here's the scenario. A bit far-fetched but who knows, might work. Let's say you're hopelessly lost in the wilderness, and all you have is a can of beer, a sewing needle, a small bowl, and a pair of extra-large silk panties. First, open the beer, pour some into the bowl, and let it go flat. (Better drink the rest; this may not work.) Next, magnetize the needle by stroking it repeatedly in one direction with the panties. This will generate a charge of static electricity. Then float the needle in the beer. When it stops, it'll be pointing in a north-south direction.
[lol.. should be fun to watch someone try]
14. Soothe Tired Feet
Pour a couple of cold ones into a bucket and soak your dogs. "Ice-cold beer with lots of carbonation can be soothing for tired feet," says Dr. Alexander.
[hmm...]
15. Make A Beer Slide
Forget volleyball and croquet. At your next party, lay a large vinyl tarp on a slope, then make it slick with lots of beer. Have your friends strip down to their underwear or swim trunks, get a running start, and slide downhill on their butts.
[okay i dont think that idea appeals to me.. i am however, able to picture certain guys who were there to celebrate my bday with me, doing just that. And having the best time, at that]
16. Lower Your Blood Pressure
A handful of dried hops or hops pellets are put in a coffeemaker and brewed with hot water. It makes for a bitter tea, but apparently it brings blood pressure down by dilating the capillaries. We don't advocate this as a replacement for medication, though.
17. Trick A Cheap Landlord
Live in an apartment where the landlord pays the heat bill and sets the thermostat pretty low? Ice up a can of beer in the freezer, then set it atop the lockbox that encloses the thermostat. The cold from the beer will trick the thermostat into thinking the temperature has dropped so it'll turn the heat on.
[hahahaha wth]
18. Bake Beer Bread
A healthful, foolproof recipe for high-fibre beer bread. Again, please leave a msg if you'd like the recipe.
19. Catch Mice
Slugs aren't the only pests with a fatal attraction to beer. Seems that you can also trap mice with it. Set out a few small pails or bowls of beer with a small ramp leading up to the lip. The mice will be attracted by the smell, hop in, drink their fill, then be unable to climb out.
[heh If i tried this, my mum would just make me go clear up the carcasses]
20. Tie A Fly
For fishing, of course. This tip is from the book Curiosities of Ale and Beer, published in 1889 [!!] Mix beer, chimney soot, walnut leaves, and a little powdered alum in a small pot. Bring to a boil, then chill. Dipping any natural materials you're using in this solution prior to tying is supposed to make for a tighter, more attractive fly. No promises as to whether it will catch more fish, though.
21. Cure Insomnia
Greg Smith, author of The Beer Drinker's Bible [nice to know there are such books out there], says women often show up at his brewery asking to buy not his beer but the hops he uses to brew it. "They sew it into pillows," he explains. "The smell of it is supposed to be a sleep aid, especially for colicky babies. I've never tried it, but we get enough requests that there must be something to it." Hops is a type of flower, though, so be careful if you have allergies.
[hmm.. maybe they have something there]
22. Massage Yourself
According to a certified massage therapist, a full can of beer is a great self-massage tool. For instance, you can take off your shoes and roll a can underfoot. Or put one in the crook of your back or between your shoulder blades and lean back against a wall, rolling it around as you do so. It works just about anywhere — quads, glutes, neck, calves. The pressure loosens up muscle tissue and encourages bloodflow to the area.
[I suppose any drinks can can be used the same way..]
23. Calm An Upset Stomach
Sipping on a highly carbonated beer can settle a stomach just like a 7up or Coke can. Plus, the alcohol helps buffer pain. The only time you have to be careful is if you have an ulcer or gastritis. Alcohol can inflame that.
[I thought gassy drinks give u an upset stomach..]
24. Build Your Next Home
Earthship, a house in New Mexico, has walls made of empty beer cans and concrete. Instead of using forms for the cement, builders put down alternating layers of mortar and cans. You can do the same to create retaining walls for gardens and other landscaping. Earthship also contains a thermal-mass refrigerator that uses full cans of beer as insulation. The cans line the walls of the unit, helping keep the temperature constant while minimizing energy usage. A ceiling vent allows frigid desert air to flow in during the night. The beer absorbs this cold, but never freezes because of its alcohol content. When the hatch is closed during the day, the beer releases the coolness. The same thing happens when you open one and drink it.
[Worth a try i guess.. although i wouldnt go for it, personally. hehe]
25. Cook Rice
They give a recipe but it's pretty much cooking rice, just substituting water with beer. Says that the rice won't be lumpy, and it'll have a nuttier flavor — just like you after you eat it.
[Kinda blows tomato rice or pineapple rice out of the water..]
26. Stop Snoring
Simple remedy: Get a pocket tshirt and a 6-ounce mini-can of beer. Put the can in the pocket and fasten it closed with a safety pin. Just before you go to bed, put the shirt on backward. Research shows that you're more likely to snore when resting on your back. This little setup prevents you from rolling over. Plus, come morning, you won't have to get out of bed for breakfast.
[.....]
27. Build A Plane
A pilot and aircraft aficionado started building model airplanes out of beer cans about 10 years ago. Now, at his Web site (www.bcairoriginals.com), he sells the plans for eight categories of beer-can planes, including vintage tri-wings, helicopters, Warhawks, and ones that actually fly. Brings new meaning to the term "getting buzzed."
[*shrug* can't say he isn't creative]
28. Roast Chicken
Swampman Dan's Drunken Chicken recipe, courtesy of "Swamp Cookin' with the River People" [Oh Lord...]. Involves drinking half a can of beer, adding seasonings to the can.. and shoving the can into the chicken before placing in a secure, standing position on the grill. As the brew boils, it intoxicates the bird with flavour.
[I was speechless... *shoving a can in a chicken?*.. but please, msg if you'd like the recipe]
29. Ice A Hamstring
Frozen or very cold cans of beer make great ice packs. Hold one against whatever is ailing you — a sore muscle, a sunburned neck, a pounding headache. With an Ace bandage, you can even wrap a frosty 16-ouncer against the back of your thigh. Or use a sweatband to strap a can near your elbow after a tennis match. Just make sure to put some thin fabric between the skin and the beer can to avoid frostbite.
30. Build Delightful Patio Furniture
Simply screw plywood to wooden posts, brace them with lattice, and glue the caps to the top in whatever creative arrangement you like. Warning: Don't leave the finished table out in the rain, because the caps will rust.
[oh my god..]
31. Tame A Wild Hair
A few drops of beer is sticky enough to subdue any sudden uprising on your eyebrow or scalp that you spot in a barroom mirror. Just wet your index finger and demurely slick it down. Think of it as Miller mousse.
[hehe No harm trying]
32. Scale Fish
Nail or glue 3 or 4 beer caps to a sturdy piece of wood that's roughly 6 inches long, 1 inch wide, and 1/2 inch thick. Keep the caps in a line and make sure the serrated edges are facing out. Then attack those fish.
[hehe works well i'm sure]
And so, remembering reading this on the internet (this man certainly put alot of thought into it), i share it with u.. on behalf of that friend of mine. ;)
I dont know how accurate these are, or if they really work. And some of them are just plain weird. But feel free to try any of them out. I hold no responsibility on ur actions, or any consequences of those actions. hehe
32 THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH BEER
1. Bathe In It
Try pouring a bottle of German Badebier in the bathtub and soak in it. The yeast soothes the skin and leaves it feeling smooth and luxurious. Of course, u'll end up smelling like fresh bread.
2. Put Out A Fire
Beer is mostly water and works almost as well as fire extinguishers on small grill flare-ups or car engine fires. Just shake and spritz.
3. Marinate Meat
Beer is acidic and so, is an excellent meat tenderizer. Just poke a few holes in the meat and leave them to sit in the fridge in some beer for a few hours, or even better, overnight. Do not drink the marinade.
[I've found that 7up works just as well. Just be forewarned that the meat may be a little sweeter than u expect]
4. Polish Pots
The acidity does wonders on copper.
5. Make Beer Barbecue Sauce
Can be used to baste anything u fancy. Please leave a msg for the recipe.
6. Shampoo Hair
Great for adding shine and lustre to dull hair. Bring a cup of it to boil over medium heat. Let it reduce till only 1/4 cup is left. That way, it removes the alcohol, which is drying to hair. Let cool and add to a cup of ur favourite shampoo. Then lather up and rinse.
[This i've got to try]
7. Loosen Rusty Bolts
Pour some beer on them and leave for a few minutes. The carbonation may help to break up the rust.
8. Clear Up Brown Spots On Your Lawn
Apparently the fermented sugar in beer stimulates plant growth and kill fungi. Just spray on those brown patches in the garden.
9. Steam Clams Or Mussels
Bring equal parts water and beer to a boil before steaming the little mollusks till their shells open.
[Sounds good.. and i know just the darlings who will try this out with me]
10. Pass A Kidney Stone
Beer acts as a diuretic and flushes the kidneys and bladder. Helps if ure trying to pass a kidney stone. Water and cranberry juice are good, but beer works too. Takes the edge off of the pain as well, obviously, as ure trying to pass a kidney stone. =/ But don't drink beer if you're taking antibiotics or narcotic pain medications. You'll just render the drugs useless and make yourself sick.
11. Boil Shrimp
Seasoning added and it works for lobster as well.
[This i would try as well]
12. Kill Slugs
Gather together a couple of empty jars, and fill them 1/3 with cheap beer. Then bury them abt 15 feet from ur garden or whatever ure trying to protect. Make sure the rims are almost level with the soil surface. For some reason, slugs love beer. They'll find the traps, drop in, and drown. Do this in the evening, let them party all night, and give them an honourable burial in the morning.
13. Find Due North
Okay, here's the scenario. A bit far-fetched but who knows, might work. Let's say you're hopelessly lost in the wilderness, and all you have is a can of beer, a sewing needle, a small bowl, and a pair of extra-large silk panties. First, open the beer, pour some into the bowl, and let it go flat. (Better drink the rest; this may not work.) Next, magnetize the needle by stroking it repeatedly in one direction with the panties. This will generate a charge of static electricity. Then float the needle in the beer. When it stops, it'll be pointing in a north-south direction.
[lol.. should be fun to watch someone try]
14. Soothe Tired Feet
Pour a couple of cold ones into a bucket and soak your dogs. "Ice-cold beer with lots of carbonation can be soothing for tired feet," says Dr. Alexander.
[hmm...]
15. Make A Beer Slide
Forget volleyball and croquet. At your next party, lay a large vinyl tarp on a slope, then make it slick with lots of beer. Have your friends strip down to their underwear or swim trunks, get a running start, and slide downhill on their butts.
[okay i dont think that idea appeals to me.. i am however, able to picture certain guys who were there to celebrate my bday with me, doing just that. And having the best time, at that]
16. Lower Your Blood Pressure
A handful of dried hops or hops pellets are put in a coffeemaker and brewed with hot water. It makes for a bitter tea, but apparently it brings blood pressure down by dilating the capillaries. We don't advocate this as a replacement for medication, though.
17. Trick A Cheap Landlord
Live in an apartment where the landlord pays the heat bill and sets the thermostat pretty low? Ice up a can of beer in the freezer, then set it atop the lockbox that encloses the thermostat. The cold from the beer will trick the thermostat into thinking the temperature has dropped so it'll turn the heat on.
[hahahaha wth]
18. Bake Beer Bread
A healthful, foolproof recipe for high-fibre beer bread. Again, please leave a msg if you'd like the recipe.
19. Catch Mice
Slugs aren't the only pests with a fatal attraction to beer. Seems that you can also trap mice with it. Set out a few small pails or bowls of beer with a small ramp leading up to the lip. The mice will be attracted by the smell, hop in, drink their fill, then be unable to climb out.
[heh If i tried this, my mum would just make me go clear up the carcasses]
20. Tie A Fly
For fishing, of course. This tip is from the book Curiosities of Ale and Beer, published in 1889 [!!] Mix beer, chimney soot, walnut leaves, and a little powdered alum in a small pot. Bring to a boil, then chill. Dipping any natural materials you're using in this solution prior to tying is supposed to make for a tighter, more attractive fly. No promises as to whether it will catch more fish, though.
21. Cure Insomnia
Greg Smith, author of The Beer Drinker's Bible [nice to know there are such books out there], says women often show up at his brewery asking to buy not his beer but the hops he uses to brew it. "They sew it into pillows," he explains. "The smell of it is supposed to be a sleep aid, especially for colicky babies. I've never tried it, but we get enough requests that there must be something to it." Hops is a type of flower, though, so be careful if you have allergies.
[hmm.. maybe they have something there]
22. Massage Yourself
According to a certified massage therapist, a full can of beer is a great self-massage tool. For instance, you can take off your shoes and roll a can underfoot. Or put one in the crook of your back or between your shoulder blades and lean back against a wall, rolling it around as you do so. It works just about anywhere — quads, glutes, neck, calves. The pressure loosens up muscle tissue and encourages bloodflow to the area.
[I suppose any drinks can can be used the same way..]
23. Calm An Upset Stomach
Sipping on a highly carbonated beer can settle a stomach just like a 7up or Coke can. Plus, the alcohol helps buffer pain. The only time you have to be careful is if you have an ulcer or gastritis. Alcohol can inflame that.
[I thought gassy drinks give u an upset stomach..]
24. Build Your Next Home
Earthship, a house in New Mexico, has walls made of empty beer cans and concrete. Instead of using forms for the cement, builders put down alternating layers of mortar and cans. You can do the same to create retaining walls for gardens and other landscaping. Earthship also contains a thermal-mass refrigerator that uses full cans of beer as insulation. The cans line the walls of the unit, helping keep the temperature constant while minimizing energy usage. A ceiling vent allows frigid desert air to flow in during the night. The beer absorbs this cold, but never freezes because of its alcohol content. When the hatch is closed during the day, the beer releases the coolness. The same thing happens when you open one and drink it.
[Worth a try i guess.. although i wouldnt go for it, personally. hehe]
25. Cook Rice
They give a recipe but it's pretty much cooking rice, just substituting water with beer. Says that the rice won't be lumpy, and it'll have a nuttier flavor — just like you after you eat it.
[Kinda blows tomato rice or pineapple rice out of the water..]
26. Stop Snoring
Simple remedy: Get a pocket tshirt and a 6-ounce mini-can of beer. Put the can in the pocket and fasten it closed with a safety pin. Just before you go to bed, put the shirt on backward. Research shows that you're more likely to snore when resting on your back. This little setup prevents you from rolling over. Plus, come morning, you won't have to get out of bed for breakfast.
[.....]
27. Build A Plane
A pilot and aircraft aficionado started building model airplanes out of beer cans about 10 years ago. Now, at his Web site (www.bcairoriginals.com), he sells the plans for eight categories of beer-can planes, including vintage tri-wings, helicopters, Warhawks, and ones that actually fly. Brings new meaning to the term "getting buzzed."
[*shrug* can't say he isn't creative]
28. Roast Chicken
Swampman Dan's Drunken Chicken recipe, courtesy of "Swamp Cookin' with the River People" [Oh Lord...]. Involves drinking half a can of beer, adding seasonings to the can.. and shoving the can into the chicken before placing in a secure, standing position on the grill. As the brew boils, it intoxicates the bird with flavour.
[I was speechless... *shoving a can in a chicken?*.. but please, msg if you'd like the recipe]
29. Ice A Hamstring
Frozen or very cold cans of beer make great ice packs. Hold one against whatever is ailing you — a sore muscle, a sunburned neck, a pounding headache. With an Ace bandage, you can even wrap a frosty 16-ouncer against the back of your thigh. Or use a sweatband to strap a can near your elbow after a tennis match. Just make sure to put some thin fabric between the skin and the beer can to avoid frostbite.
30. Build Delightful Patio Furniture
Simply screw plywood to wooden posts, brace them with lattice, and glue the caps to the top in whatever creative arrangement you like. Warning: Don't leave the finished table out in the rain, because the caps will rust.
[oh my god..]
31. Tame A Wild Hair
A few drops of beer is sticky enough to subdue any sudden uprising on your eyebrow or scalp that you spot in a barroom mirror. Just wet your index finger and demurely slick it down. Think of it as Miller mousse.
[hehe No harm trying]
32. Scale Fish
Nail or glue 3 or 4 beer caps to a sturdy piece of wood that's roughly 6 inches long, 1 inch wide, and 1/2 inch thick. Keep the caps in a line and make sure the serrated edges are facing out. Then attack those fish.
[hehe works well i'm sure]
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